Life weights.

Sometimes, life seams to much to bare.
I want to throw my hands up and scream for all to hear.
I'm not aloud to though must keep my composure, must paint a smile on. Have to rip myself out of bed every day to go on.
   I don't know if bad luck streaks are real but, I do think mine should be about over. I know that life is a lot of what you make it but, those things I can't make, or control or fix drive me close to mad. The wheels in my head turn  and turn and if I cant fix it I feel deep sadness or anger. You know what I mean? Those big life changing things you cant fix or change...deaths, money problems, life stresses.....They are all the burdens of our lives. They like to strike us all at once and weigh us down....they hurt my shoulders and make me feel lost and helpless. I personally can barely handle this feeling. I don't like things I can't fix or can't help ....I find myself lost in a few of these situations right now. 
I'm doing my best which doesn't seam to be enough sometimes....why can't I do more? I think some people expect me to do more sometimes at the snap of a finger to change things in my life, things I really can't. I already have feelings of helplessness so I don't need to be pushed. 
I know you must be lost in my ranting of feelings by now and for that I am sorry. I have too much flowing threw my mind right now. Sometimes it just needs to come out. 
On top of everything Anxiety likes to creep up on me when times seam to be worse. These things I can't control make it all seam worse they make life seam unbearable no matter what I do.
In the end, when I calm down and stop being so upset...I hope everyone knows I am doing the best I can and I mean well....
I hope those special to me know how much I care and value them and even when I am going threw a rough time and seam so upset I could not ever make it threw without them.
I guess keeping your head up, keeping good energy flowing, never giving up and moving on is the only thing you can do....